Look over the following checklist. Think about how you are being treated — and how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts, or continually puts down the other person, it’s abuse.

Do you…
____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
____ Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
____ Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
____ Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
____ Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
____ Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke-up?

Does your partner…
____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
____ Put down your accomplishments or goals?
____ Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
____ Use intimidation or threats to force you to do things?
____ Tell you that you are nothing without them?
____ Treat you roughly — grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
____ Call, email, or text you too many times a day?
____ Show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
____ Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
____ Blame you for how they feel or act?
____ Pressure you sexually for things you don’t want to do?
____ Make you feel like there is “no way out” of the relationship?
____Prevent you from doing things you want — like spending time with your friends or family?
____ Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?

If any of these are happening in your relationship, connect with someone who can help. Without getting help, the abuse will likely continue.

Adapted From:
Reaching and Teaching Teens to Stop Violence. Nebraska Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Coalition. Lincoln, NE.

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