Gather News Pokes Fun at Abused Man

December 20, 2010

The story:
Woman Set Fire To Her Boyfriend’s Crotch

My comment, re: statements made in the post –
“(quoted from post) Men – this is a good example of why it is never a good idea to fall asleep before resolving an argument with your girlfriend or wife!

That’s a hair shy of “This is what you get for making her mad.” Would you feel the same if roles were reversed?

The lighthearted mood of both the story and the comments is even worse… how many people find this as funny simply because the victim was a man? Would it be funny for a man to set his girlfriend’s crotch on fire after an argument? Even though the post makes a few token comments lightly condemning the act (also with an attitude of humor) it sickens me to see this action laughed at. The same would not be occurring if a man had done this to a woman, a parent had done this to an argumentative, disobedient child, or if a human had done the same to a dog for making her angry. Why is it funny just because it happened to a man? What if it were your son, your brother, or one of your friends who was assaulted? Would it be as funny then?

Attitudes like this are why abused men don’t get the kind of help they need to get out of abusive relationships the way abused women do. They know that they are not going to be taken seriously. Folks need to think – actions which are abuse when committed against women, children, and animals are also abuse when committed against men.”

It’s really rare in situations like this for the police to actually handle things the way they did in this case, by arresting the assailant and not the victim. I’ve seen it happen more the other way. I’ve even seen the lengths to which the system goes to favor women over men in domestic violence cases. (Reader, you seriously need to check out that link and follow through the whole thing – all 9 updates – before responding to that sentence, or you will look like a colossal idiot to everyone who is familiar with that case when you flame me for that statement.)

It is sad but not surprising to see this kind of attitude toward violence against men. As a woman who gets along with regular guys better than I do with regular gals, I’ve seen my buddies subjected to that attitude by the female acquaintances in their lives so much that I’m as hyper-aware of it and offended by it as most folks are to/by such treatment when women are the target instead of men.

Don’t believe me? Try this: Watch the video below, but turn off the sound, so you can’t hear the song. Do you find the behavior funny? Imagine the roles reversed – switch the singer with the actor who plays the boyfriend. Do you still find it funny?